Through my life there have been some interesting times.  Loved ones leaving or dying, other loved ones with various illnesses, and the daily things that come when you work with people.  I’ve come to realize that there is a bit of baggage that I’ve accumulated.  Some of it is angry, sad, disappointed, livid, and all of it carries a certain amount of weight on me.  To many, it comes across as “a wisdom beyond my years” but in reality it may just be a “repression of my fears”. 

I am coming to realize this because I’ve had so many symptoms that come back to the doctor(s) just telling me it is stress.  All kinds of things could be contributing factors.  I can’t really put my finger on some of these stressors, but I am coming to terms with the fact that I am stressed and do have this emotional baggage.  I guess that is a start.  Now to rid myself of it?

Today I had a bit of a revelation.  I do like my life.  It’s just not where I desire it to be… yet.  There is a few things left on the plate that I desire to be a reality.  I won’t go into detail but what I have began to do is lose hope that I would get there eventually.  It’s like forever asking the question “are we there yet?” and finally stopping because you resolve that you never will get there.

So today, I have taken that dusty, dirty thing called “hope” back off the shelf and am going to try it again.  This time with the realization from the start that the journey will be long.  It will be tiresome, but there is a “Joy in the Journey” as Michael Card says in this song.