Beginning
My first online venture on my own was a forum back in 2001 during the rise of Google Adsense. It arrived at this domain, www.decloned.com as a place where Christian college-aged people like myself could get together somewhere online and exchange views on just about anything. Sometime around 2004 (after college), I decided that I wanted to start taking my writing to a new level. Where that was? I think I am only just now understanding the full extent of.
b5media
Around August of 2006 I happened upon this guys blog… (www.problogger.net). I was probably trying to figure out some scheme to make money online to make ends meet and supplement my ministry at the church I am at. Amazingly, I seemed to have a few things in common with Darren. He was a pastor. I was a pastor. He liked writing online and had a good knowledge of the Internet. So did I. He is a bit older than me, but I can forgive him that…right?
After researching b5media, I wrote a proposal to Jeremy (www.ensight.org) who then forwarded it to Christina (www.christinacjones.com) who then brought me on to the Arts and Crafts channel at b5media to be trained as a Channel Editor. Things worked out wonderfully. I came in, I did my thing. I think Shai and Hsien helped out a bit in that process somewhere too. 
I broadened out the channel and changed it to “Arts and Design”. Eventually, Darren even brought Digital Photography School over to the Arts and Design Channel. I was riding high. My blog was growing (www.artisthideout.com) and things were good. I wrote for a little over a year there.
Changing
But for me, I was changing the more I wrote. My passions were growing more diverse the more I was writing. I couldn’t stay focused to write on just art anymore. I realize it now. I didn’t then. I just was burnt out and spent. I just pushed myself too hard, too soon, and didn’t bother to rest or recuperate. Remember, I am also full time at the church too as a pastor. Too much happening and all of it at once.
I was actually almost grateful when the channel merging began between the Home and Dining channel, the relationships channel and the Arts and Design. By this time, my wife had become the CE for the Home and Dining Channel and I was still doing A&D and we would IM from the other rooms of the house about work stuff or when dinner was ready. Good, but work and home life became way too close for comfort around here. Our pets even felt the brunt of it when we would go out of town, we’d set up a cat cam for them with b5 hats and stuff.
Home Revisited
For awhile now I’ve been posting pretty random stuff around this particular blog, decloned. It’s my most personal blog, but it’s more of a “home” than it is a blog. I’ve tried numerous things with it and the income has grown, though not really exceptional. But I’ve let it slip into disrepair a bit as of late. This has been intentional. I am sorry, but it has. I needed a break. I’ve been having very random strange health problems over the last few months for one thing. Stress, I’m told. I’ve also been recovering from the massive burnout that can happen when you drain all your creative juices over the course of a year (which was my fault and no one else can take the blame on that one).
I’ve been giving a lot of thought over what I want home to look like for me though. This blog, this identity and place.
I want authenticity.
I want transparency.
I want a real person not trying to impress someone with their views or ideas behind it.
… and that’s it. No real theme. No niche topic. Just an honest, more often than not, surprising truth, and unrelenting joy.
By the way, b5 was a great network to work with. I grew a lot while I was there and maybe someday I will make my way back there. I miss a lot of the people. They probably think I fell off the Earth somewhere. But I am here, and for now, I am happy with just being me.
Will that resurrect this blogger from the broken (rss) feed mill? I don’t know, but I don’t think that is really the goal anymore either I am happy to say.
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Awww… we miss you too, William. I still find myself stopping to add you (and Rebecca) to the weekly chats whenever I see you on Skype at the same time.
Anyway, I kinda understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been through a similar process on my personal blog – which I find the hardest to write out of all my blogs. Maybe because I feel as though it had to represent me as ME – without being overly personal; and not totally cold and professional either.
Eventually, I decided just to give it my best shot and not worry about it too much. I decided that it’s my own piece of the web and I’ll do with it as I please. Of course, within reason. Like my own home. Or my own body.
Then, just let folks decide whether they like it or not. Kinda the way I want to be loved and accepted by the people around me. I don’t want folks to be my friends because I can do stuff for them, or give them stuff, or entertain them, etc. I can do all those too… but not the end all and be all of everything.
So yeah, welcome back. And just enjoy the process of finding and loving your own voice. It ain’t always pretty, but it’s a great ride!
Thanks so much Shai. I feel like I have had an “out-of-blog-experience” over the last few months or so.
There’s a lot of really great people I’ve missed though. It will be nice to touch base again with a few people.
Blogging can be totally addictive and draining. I’ve thought about taking a break many times. Going on an enforced one come June when baby #2 arrives.
Nice to see that you’re finding a balance between the different areas of your life. Take good care!!
Hey Hsien! Baby #2? Congrats! I won’t say I’ve found balance yet. But I think taking a break has been a good start to trying to restore it. Nice of you to stop by.. this post is kinda my re-entrance (albeit tentative) to the blogging world.
Yeah, miss you here too. Lots of stuff that you and I had in common as well, but from a slightly different perspective. Still got you in GTalk though, so we’ll stay in touch.