How to fail, drain your creativity and hate life by taking on too much "stuff".
Over the last year I’ve picked up a few things on the side. Not usually because I felt overly enthusiastic about them or because I wanted to, but because friends have asked me to be a part of some project.
Now I am a sucker for any person I would consider a friend. I have a hard time saying “no” for some reason. But it’s also starting to get to me. It’s starting to eat into time with my family and frustrating me more and more with each new thing I take on.
Example A
I agreed to a project about a week ago on a non-profit consulting type of thing. I even held off on committing for sure to anything regarding it because it wasn’t my passion and it wasn’t where I felt I was being led at the time. So instead of just saying “no”, I took it on in a very passive way, and really, I meant well. I meant that I would look over the different elements and really help a friend out. But, in reality because my passion isn’t there, I have failed even that… and I feel really horrible about it now. I really have a heart for the people I count as friends, but sometimes my pastoral-care-I-would-do-anything-to-help side comes out and manifests itself in ways that I don’t intend.
I wrote about going back to the basics on my template and blogging and just getting back to writing more from a real point of view. I think I need to take that and apply it back to life too. We drain our creativity by taking on these little innocent things that we really have no passion for; spreading ourselves too thin.
Accountability
It’s hard to talk about accountability in a church setting with people you know and trust and it’s really easy to be completely vulnerable with people you don’t know and be anonymous, but when you decide to be vulnerable and completely naked (like David) with a community of people who know you, well it’s almost more than just mere accountability.
So here’s my game plan. I have several things on my plate right now that I need to get off. I have been doing web design and hosting on the side for friends and family both for profit and non-profit. Those need to end. It’s not fair to them or to my wife or to myself for me to continue in this way with things I really do not have passion for doing anymore.
Then I need to focus on the things I am passionate for. God, Family, Friends, Ministry, Creativity, Writing, Blogging & Becoming and Living Debt Free
That’s it. Nothing matters more to me than those things right there. At some point, by taking on these little projects, I’ve failed in each of the areas above at some point. I don’t like failure, but I hate not learning from my failures even more.
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I hear you William. Some of us tend to live for others. I did that for a long time, and it leads to a bad place. We don’t mean to neglect ourselves, but we do. The end point is when we realize we have nothing of value left to share.
We have to first take care of ourselves. It’s not selfish, it’s making sure we have something of value within us that other people will absorb from us. In reality it is irresponsible of us to always put others first. If we want to share our best, we have to prioritize building and maintaining that inner foundation.
It absolutely has to work for you before it can work for others. Good on you for doing something about this. Your family will love you for it, and you will love you for it
Best,
John