The Cover Letter I Never Wrote
Hello, my name is William Lehman. I don’t know where God is taking me. I do know that it’s a wild ride and that He’s given me many gifts to do a lot of things. I graduated in 2003 from Circleville Bible College with a degree in Biblical Theology/Youth Ministry Emphasis. I’ve worked as a Youth Minister, a full-time associate pastor, a Studio photographer, a professional blogger and channel editor, a web designer, a freelance artist and a coffee server since. In the last five months, I’ve also become full-time daddy to our little son.
When it comes to the average church, I often see it as a bureaucratic facade of “fiscal maneuvering” designed to look like ministry. Meetings designed to put together action plans for increasing attendance, thereby increasing monetary means to increase attendance to again increase net wealth of “God’s kingdom” on earth. This from the role of someone who has been in those shoes, lived those meetings. Here are some questions I’d pose for that average church that feels they might be going through the same charade:
- If you really loved God and loved people as much as you say you do, would you still spend 12 hours a week going over action plans for five year goals or would you spend those 12+ hours each week actually listening to the hurting or caring for the broken?
- Aren’t you tired of trying to make it work, to make the numbers add up, or preaching to deaf ears on a Sunday morning?
- Does it really matter if everything goes smoothly on a Sunday morning or is it some kind of illusion of control that you want?
I for one am tired of feeling that I have to be so shallow as to be reduced to “getting it right” on a Sunday morning to have a relationship with a God who has forgiven my sins and genuinely loves me enough to die on a cross and make me a co-heir with Him.
I’d rather listen to the broken-hearted than to go to a meeting and try to figure out what is five years down the road. Because frankly, we don’t have tomorrow, next week, the year after, or five years from now. We have today. If we are called to live as bridegrooms ready for the return of Christ, then we’d best start understanding that our real treasure, our only treasure is the same thing that our God came and died on a cross for, that He may come back between now and our next goal realization meeting, and that no amount of goal setting will be excuse enough for the ones we were called to reach and did not.
I have the gifts to do a lot of things. To build websites, to serve coffee, to play drums, to lead small groups, to preach, to do design work and many more besides. If I had these and so many other gifts, I could do so much but it would be in vain unless I failed to do that thing that is called of me, of all of us to do, to love.
This is my personal mission statement, a sound out from the depths of my heart resounding with every stroke of a key.
Love God. Love Man.
I will fail at times to do this but I am confident that God’s grace is sufficient for even me.
Why a ragamuffin church?
Over the last few months, a lot of my thinking has been changing. First, I read Brennan Manning’s “Ragamuffin Gospel” and still reading through it again. Then I started really reading my Bible for me again. Sure, I read it for messages, bible studies and the like, but not because I just wanted to hear from my Father (in Heaven). Now, I also have my little Son, Aidan, whom I love dearly. In a few short months, my life has been flip-flopped, tilted and turned upside down and shaken (like an etch-a-sketch when you are done drawing on it and want to start over). In trying to be the best dad I can to my little one, I’ve also begun analyzing my choices a bit more. I want to be a good example to him. I take it that the first few years is kinda a dry run before he is old enough to look to me for guidance. I’ll need all the practice I can get.
But in realizing these things about myself, I am finding out more than ever just how broken I am in places. Places where I thought I had my act together are in reality places of utter failure. A funny thing has happened though. The more I am realizing my brokenness, lack of faith and failures, the more I am seeing that God’s grace is sufficient for me. I used to laugh at people when they called Christianity a crutch. It is a crutch, and I won’t be too proud to use it rather than hobble along painfully on broken legs.
I have now come to a turning point. I have put resumes out all over the internet, called churches around the country and done all I can do to find a ministry job doing what I feel God has called me to do. None of it has come to pass. At one point, I got so fed up with job boards because I was posting on them and reading them so much, that I decided that I should make my own (www.minitriki.com).
I now feel that many churches do not meet people where they are. Sure, they say they do, but you walk in and they have their little agenda that won’t budge or give you a guilt trip when you can’t be at every small group meeting. Immediately, there is a stigma if you smoke or drink or live with someone who you are not married to. I grew up in churches all my life, went to a Bible College and I know that if I stood outside of a church and smoked a cigarette, I might as well have lit the place on fire and offered up a human sacrifice. I don’t smoke, but I’ve known people so caught up with trying to quit and the stigma that the church has attached to smoking that they never understood that Jesus wants a relationship with them first and foremost.
I’m not saying that the body isn’t a temple of the Holy Spirit or preaching the heresy of license (basically means to just keep on sinning to let grace abound all the more). But we care more about the sin in someone’s life than we do about introducing them to Jesus Christ. Homosexuality is a sin. Scripture clearly says it is. But somehow no one loves the sinner anymore because the sin is so stigmatized. Are they welcomed? You don’t take a drunk and stand him up (if he can stand up) as an example of Godliness any more than you would a homosexual. I will not affirm sin. I will affirm grace though.
Grace says “Come on in” “You are welcomed” or even “I struggle too”. But we can’t ignore the Word of God on this matter. When we encounter Christ, there is a transformation that should happen. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Jesus didn’t say “I don’t condem you, so go back to your lover”. But we needen’t be the other extreme either and picking up stones to take the matter into our own hands. God’s grace is sufficient.
I told a guy yesterday that he “probably cared more about his smoking addiction than God did and that God wants a relationship with him more than he wants him to go cold turkey. If God really comes into his life and works in him, then God can take care of the smoking.”
Anyway, all these thoughts have led me to the belief that we need a church that is about the smokers, the down and outs, the poorly dressed, the tax collectors, the smelly fisherman (oops, I went a little first cenury Palestine there) the average guys, who through grace and a transforming encounter with Jesus Christ can be called Sons of God, coheirs with Christ. If we admit it, we are all a little broken anyway. Here is our power. Aknowledge our brokeness and confess our sins, repent and believe that Jesus really loves us enough to die for us. To offer us this grace we could not earn through any means of our own.
I am still seeing if people are interested in being a part of this unique ministry. Check out the link below for more information.
No longer…
I have been thinking a lot today about what God wants from me. Granted, He doesn’t “need” anything from me. Often I get overwhelmed with little things and forget the calling that has been placed on my life.
I’ve been feeling God leading me to start a ministry myself. I am not sure of the context that it will eventually take, but the initial idea is based off a book by Brennan Manning called “A Ragamuffin Gospel” I am still laying out the foundation of what this ministry will look like and part of it will be dependent on those God leads my way. Over the last seven months, I feel I have been spinning my wheels trying to make things work out on my own and applying for jobs all over the country. None of those things have worked out and I haven’t been offered a position anywhere around here, but I still feel the call to full-time ministry.
I can only do what God has asked of me. Everything else will fail in the sight of God. I may succeed in the eyes of men, but ultimately they aren’t the ones I answer to.
This has been a decision a long time in the making. I’ve prayed and thought about this for several years now. There was once a time I thought it would fit under the umbrella of another ministry. It can’t be put off any longer now. Keep us in prayer.
UP and Sick
Yesterday on my first father’s day, I went to see the movie “up” and was pleasently surprised. It was very good. Definitely go see the 3d version though. 
Today, I am feeling a bit sick. Flu like symptoms. I don’t think it’s swine flu. Just the sore throat and glands hurt with a bit of fatigue and general stomach discomfort after eating anything.
Just trying to snooze and keep a low profile today while taking cold and flu medicines after every 4-6 hours or so.
Aidan had a big day yesterday, so he’s pretty wiped out too.
Tiger Lilly in Watercolor
I decided to get back into painting regularly. Tonight I painted a new watercolor peice called Tiger Lilly. I am starting a series of flowers. Not sure how many I’ll eventually do, but this is the first.
If you want to buy it, it’s available here.